The Art of Mingling by Jeanne Martinet

Author:Jeanne Martinet
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781466880184
Publisher: St. Martin's Press

Fumbling-In

This one is really an entrance maneuver. Some people might find it crude, but advanced mingling doesn’t mean subtlety; it only means that the methods require more skill or finesse. So while Fumbling-In may seem like a rough-and-tumble way of entering a conversation, it actually takes an accomplished mingler to perform it correctly.

This is the exact opposite of the Mysterious Mingle. The perfect model for this gimmick is Clark Kent. His character, who seems on the surface to be a naive klutz, is really a superhero who can disarm people with his clumsy act. It is with Clark Kent’s particular form of graceless artfulness (or artful gracelessness) that you are going to approach this opening gambit.

Select your target group. Edge toward them, making certain no member of the group is looking at you. With your back or at least your side to them, pretend to be concentrating hard on something across the room, and then … “accidentally” bump into someone in the group. But not too hard; for this particular trick, you don’t want to cause drink spillage or personal injury. Just jostle them enough for at least one person to notice and acknowledge your presence. After you say you’re so sorry (this has to be convincing) it is usually easy to join their conversation. If, on the other hand, you should be confronted with any hostility, like “Look where you’re going, why don’t you!” have some believable explanation ready. “Pardon me, someone pushed me” is always good, though I also like the more self-denigrating “I am so sorry, really, I don’t know what is the matter with me—I’ve been a clumsy oaf all day!” With the latter excuse you still have a chance that your fumble will succeed; your taking responsibility for your klutziness may endear you to some of the group and alleviate some of their initial bad humor.

The real beauty of Fumbling-In is that, if the gimmick does fail and you are ignored or rebuffed, or if you decide that you made a bad selection and you don’t want to stay in the group after all, it’s the easiest thing in the world for you to move on. You can’t be rejected, because you didn’t ask to join their group; it was an accident! In effect, nothing has been ventured, and therefore nothing is lost.

Note: Fumbling-In should be attempted only in a fairly crowded room. If there are miles of space between people, you’re just going to look foolish; or worse, drunk. It’s bad enough if you do get drunk at a party, but it’s an absolute crime to appear drunk.

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